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Author Topic:   Ancient Joke, will cause females to kill me
Hawk2112
Serf

Posts: 17
From: Chicago, IL USA
Registered: Jun 2001

posted 13 December 2001 01:59     Click Here to See the Profile for Hawk2112   Click Here to Email Hawk2112        Reply w/Quote   
This is an ancient joke, and if I disappear after the telling, it will be because every female who reads the forums will find me, and kill me...slowly, or make me play D2 unmodded

Why can't men trust women?

How can you trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and does NOT die???!?


(ducking)

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Never underestimate the power of human stupidity! - R.A. Heinlein

You know you're having a really bad day if you can make a tow truck driver say "HOLY SH@T!!!!" - ME :D

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FeistyGirl
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 729
From: a padded cell somewhere
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 11 February 2002 00:08     Click Here to See the Profile for FeistyGirl   Click Here to Email FeistyGirl        Reply w/Quote   
*kills Hawk*

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"I'm a miracle worker. If I work, it's a miracle."

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jbouley
Forum Admin.

Posts: 4907
From: Portland, Maine, USA
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 11 February 2002 15:37     Click Here to See the Profile for jbouley   Click Here to Email jbouley        Reply w/Quote   Visit jbouley's Homepage!
Wow, Feisty...not only do you return after your long absence...you even read the really old threads that have nothing to do with modding...such dedication! ;D

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- JEFF
"A hero is no braver than anyone else. He is only brave five minutes longer."
For my latest mod (for LoD/expansion), download Version 1.1 of Sanctuary in Chaos

- Or for old stuff (for classic D2), visit my orignal mod site at www.planetdiablo.com/sanctuary

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FeistyGirl
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 729
From: a padded cell somewhere
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 11 February 2002 16:19     Click Here to See the Profile for FeistyGirl   Click Here to Email FeistyGirl        Reply w/Quote   
what can I say, I love you guys...


either that or I get REALLY freakin bored at school...

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"I'm a miracle worker. If I work, it's a miracle."

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MPHG
Forum Admin.

Posts: 1693
From: simwhere
Registered: Jun 2001

posted 11 February 2002 16:28     Click Here to See the Profile for MPHG   Click Here to Email MPHG        Reply w/Quote   Visit MPHG's Homepage!
and here i was hoping for the love.

oh well, only 3 days till I get to be bored and 4 days to hear about friends and what they did on V-day.

Bah.
just another V-day.

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Axalon
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 2243
From: New England, USA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted 11 February 2002 19:00     Click Here to See the Profile for Axalon   Click Here to Email Axalon        Reply w/Quote   
**FeistyGirl incinerates Hawk2112** Not even one feather remains hehehe ... hmmm ... V-day a D-day for MPHG? all is not lost ... as I gaze into my crystal ball, I see a new hope appearing on the horizon, taking the shape of beautiful woman ... hmmm ... looks *good* ... better grab her MPHG before I do hehehe (I'll send you a box chocolates & one red rose, in the guise of a secret admirer )

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"To dream a life, or to live a dream ... only through desire shall the sleeper awaken."

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Zhoulomcrist
Forum Admin.

Posts: 3239
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 11 February 2002 19:14     Click Here to See the Profile for Zhoulomcrist        Reply w/Quote   
Very funny, this place says Phrozen Keep, not Phrozen Date . Alright, enough of that....

quote:
Originally posted by FeistyGirl:
*kills Hawk*


Seeing this as a perfect opportunity to test a new spell, Zhoulomcrist takes the remains of the body out to the back of the Cryptforge and casts Corpse Nuke on it. The test was successful. But, over half the countryside was reduced to a huge crater . This concludes the burial ceremony.

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Classic Diablo II: ZhoulomCrypt Project Administrator

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MPHG
Forum Admin.

Posts: 1693
From: simwhere
Registered: Jun 2001

posted 11 February 2002 19:27     Click Here to See the Profile for MPHG   Click Here to Email MPHG        Reply w/Quote   Visit MPHG's Homepage!
Phrozen's Date it is nothing -vs- the rules that says I can't find a girl here, at least we'd have 1 or more common intrests

:shameless plug:

Seeking female, 5 foot to 5 foot 4 inches
Shoulder length or longer hair preferible.
Must like computers, classic video games, classic tv, Monty Python knowledge or even to like python is a must ,age between 18~25

this is for a 19 pale-tan, long haired,glasses wearing, Classic gaming/listening/watcher.
- Knows alot about cpus
- Knows alot about 80's
- Knows how to treat a girl right
- Alway willing to listen
:end of shameless plug:

I put this in the humor section because well
if someone answers I will have a heart attack :P

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Bring Back the Classic.
Bring Back the Knowledge.
Bringing back to D2

The Classic

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Zhoulomcrist
Forum Admin.

Posts: 3239
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 11 February 2002 19:31     Click Here to See the Profile for Zhoulomcrist        Reply w/Quote   
Well, I posted. But, don't have a heart attack yet until you receive an answer to the above .

Yeap, Phrozen Dating is not against protocol here. That was a joke. That being the case, the Phrozen Keep accepts no responsibility for the stability of your dating nor do we issue any warranty for errors. Otherwise, have fun.

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Classic Diablo II: ZhoulomCrypt Project Administrator

[This message has been edited by Zhoulomcrist (edited 11 February 2002).]

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MPHG
Forum Admin.

Posts: 1693
From: simwhere
Registered: Jun 2001

posted 11 February 2002 19:38     Click Here to See the Profile for MPHG   Click Here to Email MPHG        Reply w/Quote   Visit MPHG's Homepage!
oh well i wanted that heart attack
i was guzzling mayo , and eating potato chips
with bacon and dip meanwhile hitting that refresh key waiting for a person to post.

back to hearing my arteries clot

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Bring Back the Classic.
Bring Back the Knowledge.
Bringing back to D2

The Classic

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FeistyGirl
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 729
From: a padded cell somewhere
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 11 February 2002 20:15     Click Here to See the Profile for FeistyGirl   Click Here to Email FeistyGirl        Reply w/Quote   
sorry MPHG... even if i was single I'd still be too tall at 5'8"

don't try too hard for that heart attack, ya never know what the next year will bring.

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"I'm a miracle worker. If I work, it's a miracle."

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MPHG
Forum Admin.

Posts: 1693
From: simwhere
Registered: Jun 2001

posted 11 February 2002 20:47     Click Here to See the Profile for MPHG   Click Here to Email MPHG        Reply w/Quote   Visit MPHG's Homepage!
bah, whats a few inches

I was being general, any girl I've talked to over the past 2 years has been what i stated, but change is good

Next year?!?! 10 months more, how can one man do it alone?

yup I'll get by with alittle help from my friends . All 50+ of them that I interact daily with here @ the Keep

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Bring Back the Classic.
Bring Back the Knowledge.
Bringing back to D2

The Classic

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Squirrel_Farmer
Squire

Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Feb 2002

posted 25 February 2002 13:32     Click Here to See the Profile for Squirrel_Farmer   Click Here to Email Squirrel_Farmer        Reply w/Quote   
It might bleed for 7 seven days but it CAN die, you just have to be careful. (evil grin)

OK this is probaly gonna get more hate 4 me, but oh well.

Only 2 things in this universe are absolute: the speed of light and utter stupidity. -Albert Einstein

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..and the Lord created the squirrels, and with them their farmer, and it was good. (john 5:24)

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Da3MoN
Knight

Posts: 73
From: That place, where noone can hurt you but everyone tries.
Registered: Mar 2002

posted 12 March 2002 16:48     Click Here to See the Profile for Da3MoN   Click Here to Email Da3MoN        Reply w/Quote   
sticking to the topic....
What does it mean when a woman is in the living room?
R: the leash is too long.
Why don't women need watches?
R: there's a clock on the stove!

and, my personal favorite...
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
R: because they're UGLY and they SMELL BAD!

Da3MoN begins preparation for the appocalypse about to erupt from the women in the world...

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- Da3MoN'z EyE iZ UpOn YOu...

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FeistyGirl
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 729
From: a padded cell somewhere
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 12 March 2002 18:12     Click Here to See the Profile for FeistyGirl   Click Here to Email FeistyGirl        Reply w/Quote   
quote:
Originally posted by Da3MoN:
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
R: because they're UGLY and they SMELL BAD!

Hmmm I rarely wear makeup OR perfume... and I haven't had any complaints yet... rather to the contrary, actually

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"We have a strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful."

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Axalon
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 2243
From: New England, USA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted 12 March 2002 18:47     Click Here to See the Profile for Axalon   Click Here to Email Axalon        Reply w/Quote   
Yep, I can vouch for this .. smells sweet, looks sweet .. and even tastes sweet hehehe

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"A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving." ~Lao Tzu

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Baldrick
Moderator

Posts: 1334
From: The ShadowHaven
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 12 March 2002 19:00     Click Here to See the Profile for Baldrick   Click Here to Email Baldrick        Reply w/Quote   
Elves don't need make up.

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Baldrick
Leave out the k at the end and i'll bite your arms off before you know your being attacked.
Keeper of the
ShadowHaven and QFG mod assistant developer.

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MPHG
Forum Admin.

Posts: 1693
From: simwhere
Registered: Jun 2001

posted 12 March 2002 19:59     Click Here to See the Profile for MPHG   Click Here to Email MPHG        Reply w/Quote   Visit MPHG's Homepage!
not changing the subject ,but I've noticed something.

- More men are wearing makeup.
- Women are use urinals
- I heard Kilts might be coming back fer men
- Womens pant suits are becoming more fashionible.

Now I know I will Foil my Nail or paint them once in a blue moon. It started out as me and this girl betting -vs- each other doing semi-dares of being oppisite.

She made me do the following...
- Paint nails Blue or Black (did black for 1 week then shocked her with red nails following week then foiled next week after)
- Highlights in hair (did that wanted white ,but turned out blonde )
-Ponytail my hair with or without braid(s)

I made her...
- wear a dress (major tom boy she was I made her buy a dress )
- wear makeup
- paint her nails purple


and the fact is I liked my nails foiled lol
and I will continue doing that every now and then cause it's something that makes me feel better about me

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Come stay a night at my Dragon's Inn

Remeber to have your Deed recorded on the Imperial Scrolls of Honor.

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FeistyGirl
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 729
From: a padded cell somewhere
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 13 March 2002 05:57     Click Here to See the Profile for FeistyGirl   Click Here to Email FeistyGirl        Reply w/Quote   
quote:
Originally posted by Axalon:
Yep, I can vouch for this .. smells sweet, looks sweet .. and even tastes sweet hehehe

"Tastes sweet"?!?!?!! Since when do *YOU* know this, Alex? ROFLMAO

quote:
Originally posted by MPHG:
and the fact is I liked my nails foiled lol and I will continue doing that every now and then cause it's something that makes me feel better about me

...and MPHG wins first prize in the PhrozenKeep Fashion Awards...

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"We have a strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful."

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KillBurn
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 440
From: Norway
Registered: Mar 2001

posted 13 March 2002 06:22     Click Here to See the Profile for KillBurn   Click Here to Email KillBurn        Reply w/Quote   
wow i never knew u had a womans touch MPHG

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my people have been long without tp.. no man should be without tp...bow down for the allmighty bungholio!

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Da3MoN
Knight

Posts: 73
From: That place, where noone can hurt you but everyone tries.
Registered: Mar 2002

posted 13 March 2002 07:57     Click Here to See the Profile for Da3MoN   Click Here to Email Da3MoN        Reply w/Quote   
I did that once, for valentines day. wore all black and painted nails black. in fact quite a few people in my school did that on valentines day. more of a rebellion... i mean seriously, who wants so support a holiday that says "great for all you people who r in love, but screw you other guys, feel bad". anyway. i enjoyed having black nails, it was a form of expression

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- Da3MoN'z EyE iZ UpOn YOu...

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Axalon
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 2243
From: New England, USA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted 13 March 2002 08:15     Click Here to See the Profile for Axalon   Click Here to Email Axalon        Reply w/Quote   
Hmmm .. oh, yeah um eh .. I think was the "Wicked Witch of the West" one Halloween long ago, or was that the East??

*"Tastes Sweet"!?!? ... Aaahh, In my dreams, Feisty ... in my sweet little dreams~

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"A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving." ~Lao Tzu

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MPHG
Forum Admin.

Posts: 1693
From: simwhere
Registered: Jun 2001

posted 13 March 2002 09:24     Click Here to See the Profile for MPHG   Click Here to Email MPHG        Reply w/Quote   Visit MPHG's Homepage!
Think about it the only difference i see between male and femlae is this the obvious one and harmones.

Now Females for generations have been doing and equilizing to males , yet males have been doing nothing, maybe it's time for men to step off their high horse thinking to be manly is to be rugged and whatnot.

This is my way of proving men and women have been and always will be = (saves characters lol )

try it people of non-belief get yourself some purple nails today, and tell me how you feel about yourself. I think i already know the answer.

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Come stay a night at my Dragon's Inn

Remeber to have your Deed recorded on the Imperial Scrolls of Honor.

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Da3MoN
Knight

Posts: 73
From: That place, where noone can hurt you but everyone tries.
Registered: Mar 2002

posted 13 March 2002 11:38     Click Here to See the Profile for Da3MoN   Click Here to Email Da3MoN        Reply w/Quote   
Good call. time for a new world order. pretty soon men will be the ones stuck in-house. X-(
"but you know you own the woman once you hear that sound... oooooooooooooo!" -Eddie Murphey

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- Da3MoN'z EyE iZ UpOn YOu...

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Axalon
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 2243
From: New England, USA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted 14 March 2002 10:38     Click Here to See the Profile for Axalon   Click Here to Email Axalon        Reply w/Quote   
Ok, I've been wearing this purple nail polish like you said (over my rainbowed colored nails) .. and I feel the same as I always feel, (I feel good ) .. but, I'm not attracting the same type of females I usually attract, in fact, I'm beginning not to attract any type of females at all .. Now I'm starting to feel NOT as good as I usually feel .. What would be your next ingenious suggestion?? ROTFLMAO!!! hehehe ...

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"A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving." ~Lao Tzu

[This message has been edited by Axalon (edited 14 March 2002).]

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