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Author Topic:   Blizzard's Great Annoyances
Watcher
WarLord

Posts: 196
From: Who cares anyway?
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 08 November 2001 15:08     Click Here to See the Profile for Watcher   Click Here to Email Watcher        Reply w/Quote   
Do you know Blizzard's three Great Annoyances? No? They are the principles that all Blizzard coders live by. In case you don't know them, here they are:
The first is the Patches of Doom. This is the patches that do fix some bugs, some of which are very annoying, so you have to get the patch, but also nerf the living hell out the dominant character builds, even if they didn't need a nerf. Also, each new patch introduces new bugs, so you have to get the next.
The second is the Mummified Battle.net Support. It is called so because it is as slow as a mummy. When a report of a bug rolls in, it takes a week before the support posts that it is working on it. In two weeks, they find the problem and repairs it. In another two weeks, they implement the repair. Then they announce that they can't help anyone hit by the bug, and the mummy goes back to sleep.
The third is the Infamous Spaghetti Code. This is the neat mix of soft- and hardcoding that makes many things almost impossible to modify. If possible, each patch also changes the code structure somewhat, so a modder has to start all over again.

I know this is silly, but this is the Humor forum, and I'm right, ain't I?

Watcher

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Dr Slue
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 418
From: Australia
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 08 November 2001 15:37     Click Here to See the Profile for Dr Slue   Click Here to Email Dr Slue        Reply w/Quote   Visit Dr Slue's Homepage!
The Patches are called bug Patches. Why?
Plain and simple. They make bugs.
I'll explain this to you:
Every now and then, Blizzard gets bored...so they a new bug...err patch. They way they see it, if they make a FANTASTICALLY ADVANCED bug then fix it they will not get too bored while watching their already finished box of WarcraftIII which they dont ever plan on releasing.
So in short: They make a patch to Fix a Bug and to Add a Bug...otherwise why would they need any further patches?

*This was not really intended to be humorous, it's just the way i see it*

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«Lèts yÖÐèL!»

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Baldrick
Moderator

Posts: 1334
From: The ShadowHaven
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 08 November 2001 17:08     Click Here to See the Profile for Baldrick   Click Here to Email Baldrick        Reply w/Quote   
Well this is the way of patches for all games, but I do admit good ol' Blizzard is good at this.
When my brother first saw the class specific heads for the necromancer he said "Heads!" and then he said as a joke "Hey lets put our heads together on this one!".

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"My name is Kate" said Kate
"Isn't that a girls name" said Blackadder
"No it's short for Bob" said Kate

"So I suppose you'll go back to shoveling dung like when I found you" said Blackadder
"No it took me years to get that job, and I suspect it'll take years more to get it back" said Baldrick

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Elves Rune
Knight

Posts: 70
From: The sword Coast
Registered: Nov 2001

posted 11 November 2001 18:04     Click Here to See the Profile for Elves Rune   Click Here to Email Elves Rune        Reply w/Quote   
Thats true.........I bet Microsoft Bugs (cough)...er releases a windows every six months for that same matter, Greedy sons of (Bleeep)

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"What is this a legal agreement?!"

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