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Author Topic:   A clean one...
Chineseman
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 357
From: The Philippines
Registered: Mar 2002

posted 13 April 2002 01:21     Click Here to See the Profile for Chineseman   Click Here to Email Chineseman        Reply w/Quote   
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't
loud, but everyone at the table heard the pouf.

Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!" The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face.

A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked
at the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!" Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!".

A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Once again,
the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she ****s you!"

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Need a break? Read the Dawn of Gods and Jolly_Reaper's Story! :D

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Sindaram
WarLord

Posts: 178
From: Mirkwood
Registered: Apr 2002

posted 13 April 2002 04:46     Click Here to See the Profile for Sindaram   Click Here to Email Sindaram        Reply w/Quote   Visit Sindaram's Homepage!
yea, very clean this joke is

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Three rings for the Elven Kings under the sky. Seven for the Dwarf Lords in their halls of stone. Nine for the mortal men, doomed to die. One for the Dark Lord in his dark throne, in the land of Mordor where Shadows lie. One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them, in the land of Mordor where Shadows lie...

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johnny-b!
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 569
From: Idaho, USA
Registered: Jan 2002

posted 13 April 2002 22:46     Click Here to See the Profile for johnny-b!   Click Here to Email johnny-b!        Reply w/Quote   Visit johnny-b!'s Homepage!
LOL!

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Out of the corner of your eye you see a swift blade. You turn around in shock to find Sephrioth looking at you eye-to-eye. You look at him in freight. He turns around and walks away but just when u thought you were safe he pulls out a Desert Eagle and blows a hole in the center of your head. You fall to the ground, and Sephrioth gets the last laugh. Or did he? To be trailed at some other time......

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M6n6M6
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 319
From: Whatever
Registered: Mar 2002

posted 13 April 2002 23:33     Click Here to See the Profile for M6n6M6   Click Here to Email M6n6M6        Reply w/Quote   
Hahaha
thats good

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I been raised and labeled as crazed. My mother wasn't able to raise me, full of crazy rage. An angry teenager.
Nothing could change me back. Gangsta rap made me act like a maniac, I was boosting, so influenced by music
I used it as an excuse to do ****. Ooh I was stupid! No one could tell me nothing, Hip hop overwhelmed me. To the point where it had me in a whole 'nother realm. It was like isolating myself was healthy
It felt like we was on welfare but wealthy.

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Vimes
Lord

Posts: 106
From: The Netherlands
Registered: Apr 2002

posted 14 April 2002 12:12     Click Here to See the Profile for Vimes   Click Here to Email Vimes        Reply w/Quote   Visit Vimes's Homepage!
Fartastic! (Yeah, I no, one stupid remark, but hey, maybe you can laugh at me for it).

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For the last 20 years I've been trying to get a life... Maybe in the next 20 years I'll try harder...

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Da3MoN
Knight

Posts: 73
From: That place, where noone can hurt you but everyone tries.
Registered: Mar 2002

posted 16 April 2002 10:26     Click Here to See the Profile for Da3MoN   Click Here to Email Da3MoN        Reply w/Quote   
hehehe... funny joke. funny funny. make me laugh lots.
*pinches his nose
Bud iz diz a cleen joke?
*leaves the smell behind and visits other forums.

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quote:
Not understanding is not a sign of unintelligence.
It is a sign of untelligence.

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Chineseman
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 357
From: The Philippines
Registered: Mar 2002

posted 17 April 2002 20:14     Click Here to See the Profile for Chineseman   Click Here to Email Chineseman        Reply w/Quote   
Then how about another one...

Jack and Jim are camping in the desert. Early in the morning, while Jim is still asleep, a snake bites his prick. He panics, and Jack panics. After talking it over, they decide that Jim should stay where he is and Jack should go for help. So Jack starts off and soon reaches a town where he finds the local doctor’s office and talks to the doctor. "My friend was bitten by a snake. What do we do?" "What kind of snake was it?" "It was about one meter long, sort of green and yellow." "Whoa boy. Those are very dangerous!" "What can we do?" "Suck the poison out. Otherwise your friend will die!" So Jack goes back to his friend and starts packing up his gear. Jim says, "Well, what did the doctor say?" Jack says, "You’re going to die."


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Need a break? Read the Dawn of Gods and Darkness on Mèladan! :D

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Irishguitarist
Knight

Posts: 52
From: Danville, CA
Registered: Mar 2002

posted 17 April 2002 20:22     Click Here to See the Profile for Irishguitarist   Click Here to Email Irishguitarist        Reply w/Quote   Visit Irishguitarist's Homepage!
I think those are hilarious, but you're really asking to get locked, Chineseman. I see MPHG coming around the corner when he comes..

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-Irish

Don't do anything I wouldn't do, and if you do, take polaroids!

[This message has been edited by Irishguitarist (edited 17 April 2002).]

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Chineseman
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 357
From: The Philippines
Registered: Mar 2002

posted 17 April 2002 21:33     Click Here to See the Profile for Chineseman   Click Here to Email Chineseman        Reply w/Quote   
I think that these were pretty much cleaner than the previous ones I've posted. If this thread gets locked again, then I'm never gonna post in the Humor forum.

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Need a break? Read the Dawn of Gods and Darkness on Mèladan! :D

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Jolly_Reaper
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 384
From: The Netherlands
Registered: Feb 2002

posted 18 April 2002 00:05     Click Here to See the Profile for Jolly_Reaper   Click Here to Email Jolly_Reaper        Reply w/Quote   

Rotfl!
Well, this one was really close on the edge

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Read some really good fantasy related stories here:
Dawn of Gods By Chineseman
Darkness on Mèladan By me

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Brother Laz
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 1134
From: the place where angels watch...
Registered: Dec 2001

posted 18 April 2002 03:41     Click Here to See the Profile for Brother Laz   Click Here to Email Brother Laz        Reply w/Quote   
*KNOCK KNOCK* Aufmachen!*

Wir haben evidence that you are posting useless ein-line replies on diesen forumm!

So komm mit uns and do not force us to schluss this topic also!

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There are many ways, my son,
to find where the souls of Modders remain
But it takes only one second of despair and of doubt
until at last, your soul, they will gain...
-D1 manual

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Axalon
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 2243
From: New England, USA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted 18 April 2002 04:07     Click Here to See the Profile for Axalon   Click Here to Email Axalon        Reply w/Quote   
Close to the edge???? .. More like over the edge and into the Abyss!! .. Someone(s) must be cutting Chinese some slack because of the uprooting of our beloved home .. yes???

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Suddenly, a deafening roar was heard ...
like the rush of a thousand ancient dragons descending from above.

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Chineseman
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 357
From: The Philippines
Registered: Mar 2002

posted 18 April 2002 20:27     Click Here to See the Profile for Chineseman   Click Here to Email Chineseman        Reply w/Quote   
What do you mean "over the edge"?

One more...

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I’m here to get my tonsils out, and I’m a little nervous." The first kid says, "You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that one when I was four. They’d put you to sleep and when you wake up they’d give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze!" The second kid then asks, "What are you in for?" The first kid says, "A circumcision." And the second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. Couldn’t walk for a year!"


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Need a break? Read the Dawn of Gods and Darkness on Mèladan! :D

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Jolly_Reaper
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 384
From: The Netherlands
Registered: Feb 2002

posted 19 April 2002 01:18     Click Here to See the Profile for Jolly_Reaper   Click Here to Email Jolly_Reaper        Reply w/Quote   

Where does he get them from.

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Read some really good fantasy related stories here:
Dawn of Gods By Chineseman
Darkness on Mèladan By me

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Vimes
Lord

Posts: 106
From: The Netherlands
Registered: Apr 2002

posted 19 April 2002 02:08     Click Here to See the Profile for Vimes   Click Here to Email Vimes        Reply w/Quote   Visit Vimes's Homepage!
LOL, ROTFL, H(its)W(all)W(hile)ROTFL. (Small room)
Ehem, thanks for sharing this Chineseman!

[Edit: Ooh, I'm a Lord already?]
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For the last 20 years I've been trying to get a life... Maybe in the next 20 years I'll try harder...

[This message has been edited by Vimes (edited 19 April 2002).]

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