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Author Topic:   Have YOU Suffered A Trip Or Fall Anywhere In the Last 5 Acts?
Olorin
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 477
From: Gardens of Lórien, Valinor.
Registered: May 2001

posted 05 September 2001 07:31     Click Here to See the Profile for Olorin   Click Here to Email Olorin        Reply w/Quote   Visit Olorin's Homepage!
If yes, then contact the Fallen Accident Insurance Buzzword Company of the Vampiric Satan Leech! We operate on a No Win, No Fee basis!
And don't worry about lawyers! We'll provide you with our very own Corpsefire, with his jury-swaying argument of "Brraaaaaaiiiiinnss..."!
We can get you a cash reward of at least 500,000 gold, and all we ask for is a 1% payment*!
Mr. Izual had suffered a Fall when he clumsily tripped over his oafish feet whilst walking on the floor of the Pandemonium Fortress that the nice man had built so that he didn't have to walk on mud:

[Cue Much Morose Music:]

"Well, I used to love wielding a sword, but now I can't because I fell into the Hellforge and hurt my toe. On a side note I was cast into a sword-wielding Demon's body."


Our team of brian-dead, brain-eating Zombies managed to win Mr. Izual a Book of Lack of Skill to complent his inherent ability, and the same could happen to you!
So don't delay! Put a nail on the floor and almost stub your toe! Then call us, and we'll give you massive compensation for your immense psycological distress!

Remember, where there's blame, there's a claim!

And a free Vampiric Amulet of the Moocher!


£££$$$£££$$$£££$$$£££$$$£££$$$£££$$$£££$$$£££$$$£££$$$£££$$$£££$$$£££$$$£££$$$£££$$$£££$$$

*Payment rounded UPWARDS to the nearest 99.99%.

Terms and Conditions:

1) The following accidents are not eligible for a claim: Real Accidents (including, but not limited to: Death, gold loss, hardcore Death, PVP battles, battles against monsters, trap damage, and Trapped Soul damage (but if you poke the Trapped Soul until it becomes enraged we might have a winner), Fire, Lightning Cold Enchanted monsters.
2) Legal cases against cursed monsters or Uniques containing the suffix "the Witch" can only be carried out if you happen to have a large piece of wood and some firelighters handy.

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