-Analysis(politcal)
"This is largely as I predicted, except he Silly Party won. I think this is mainly due to the number of votes cast"-Belief
"I believe in peace and bashing 2 bricks together"
-Cement
"I think cement us more interesting then people think"
-Citizens(senior)
"We have a lot of trouble with these oldies. Pension day's the worse-they go mad! As soon as they get their hands on their money , thye blow it all on milk,bread,tea,a tin of meat for there cat..."
-Class struggle
"They should attack the lower classes first, first with bombs and rockets to destroy there homes, and then when they run helpless into the street,mow them down with machince guns. And then ,of course, release the vultures. I know these iews aren't popular, but I never thought of popularity"
-Culture
"One day you'll relize there's more to life then culture! There's dirt, and smoke, and good honest sweat!"
-Definitions
"Your cat is suffering from what we vets haven't found a word for yet."
-Intelligence
"Would Albert Einstein ever hit on the theory of relativity if he hadn't been clever?"
-Interruptions
"We interrupt this program to annoy you and generally irriate you"
-Investments
"i would bring back hanging,and go into rope"
-Media
"I object to all this sex on the television, I mean I keep falling off"
-Sanity
"There are a great many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own , are sane"
-Taxation
"I would tax Raquel Welch...and I've a feeling she'd tax me"
-Tenacity
"Sheep are very dim. Once they get an idea into their head,there's no shifting them"
-A Toast
"Buttocks up!"
-Urine
"No, you may not give urine instead of blood...We have quite enough of it without volunteers coming to donating it"
-Wit (failed)
"Whats brown and sounds like a bell?
...
...
...
...
DUNG!"
Hope you enjoy them 