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Author Topic:   Blonde
Dr Slue
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 418
From: Australia
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 07 November 2001 01:33     Click Here to See the Profile for Dr Slue   Click Here to Email Dr Slue        Reply w/Quote   Visit Dr Slue's Homepage!
Two blondes walk into a bar...you think one of them would've seen it!

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
So that she didn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Why did the blonde leave a coat-hanger in her car?
Incase she locked her keys in.

What does a blonde keep in case of a blackout?
Glow in the dark candles.

I'm sorry for the general poorness of these jokes.I just felt the need to say it.

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Deathscythe
Moderator

Posts: 1185
From: The Darkest Part of Hell (Shadow Land)
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 07 November 2001 20:59     Click Here to See the Profile for Deathscythe   Click Here to Email Deathscythe        Reply w/Quote   Visit Deathscythe's Homepage!
hehehe can't keep it?? hehehe but its funny..

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You're Good But Im better!

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Dr Slue
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 418
From: Australia
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 08 November 2001 02:56     Click Here to See the Profile for Dr Slue   Click Here to Email Dr Slue        Reply w/Quote   Visit Dr Slue's Homepage!
can't keep what?

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«Lèts yÖÐèL!»

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FeistyGirl
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 729
From: a padded cell somewhere
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 11 February 2002 20:49     Click Here to See the Profile for FeistyGirl   Click Here to Email FeistyGirl        Reply w/Quote   
Why are blonde jokes so short?

So men can remember them

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"I'm a miracle worker. If I work, it's a miracle."

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Axalon
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 2243
From: New England, USA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted 11 February 2002 22:13     Click Here to See the Profile for Axalon   Click Here to Email Axalon        Reply w/Quote   
LOL! ... hmmm ... blondes are nice, but dark haired women 'do it' for me They have a kind of 'mystery' about them ... and more, just can't put my finger on it ... hmmm ... they're just more 'alluring' to me

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"To dream a life, or to live a dream ... only through desire shall the sleeper awaken."

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FeistyGirl
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 729
From: a padded cell somewhere
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 12 February 2002 11:54     Click Here to See the Profile for FeistyGirl   Click Here to Email FeistyGirl        Reply w/Quote   
/me is a "smart" blonde... if such a thing exists...

actually my hair color changes from light golden blonde to dark reddish brown fairly often, the dark color does look better to me for some reason but I can't keep it that color as much as I'd like cause all those chemicals wreck my hair

I think I've got a pic of me somewhere I'll see if I can find it and upload it somewhere to post if y'all wanna see?

**and NO it's not a nudie pic... It's actually a very old high school pic that I had edited for use in a different forum...

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"I'm a miracle worker. If I work, it's a miracle."

[This message has been edited by FeistyGirl (edited 12 February 2002).]

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jbouley
Forum Admin.

Posts: 4907
From: Portland, Maine, USA
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 12 February 2002 15:33     Click Here to See the Profile for jbouley   Click Here to Email jbouley        Reply w/Quote   Visit jbouley's Homepage!
A site frequented mostly by males, a lot of them between the ages of 12 and 18...and you ask a question like that?

Your mere virtual presence probably get testosterone bubbling. Thankfully, I am almost 34 and married...so I can feel harmlessly paternal toward you.

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- JEFF
"A hero is no braver than anyone else. He is only brave five minutes longer."
For my latest mod (for LoD/expansion), download Version 1.1 of Sanctuary in Chaos

- Or for old stuff (for classic D2), visit my orignal mod site at www.planetdiablo.com/sanctuary

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Axalon
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 2243
From: New England, USA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted 13 February 2002 06:52     Click Here to See the Profile for Axalon   Click Here to Email Axalon        Reply w/Quote   
quote:
Originally posted by FeistyGirl:
/

actually my hair color changes from light golden blonde to dark reddish brown fairly often, the dark color does look better to me for some reason but I can't keep it that color as much as I'd like cause all those chemicals wreck my hair



Hmmm ... sounds very nice, like having the best of both worlds You should keep it that way, Feisty, nice and natural ... probably even more mysterious and alluring than an always darked haired woman And I'm *only* 27 and still single, so this is not a paternal point of view

Only 33? Jeff is not THAT harmless! LOL

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"To dream a life, or to live a dream ... only through desire shall the sleeper awaken."

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FeistyGirl
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 729
From: a padded cell somewhere
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 13 February 2002 08:40     Click Here to See the Profile for FeistyGirl   Click Here to Email FeistyGirl        Reply w/Quote   
well if you want to see some (really old) pics of me here's a couple:

http://www.boomspeed.com/geekgirljess/jesself.gif

http://www.boomspeed.com/geekgirljess/jesspic.gif

the first one is of course edited, I used it for a while in a different forum as my userimage, it was originally my highschool senior yearbook photo...

the second one was taken during my junior year of highschool

I'll try to find some more recent pics, my hair is much longer now (about 2 or 3 times as long)

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"I'm a miracle worker. If I work, it's a miracle."

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MPHG
Forum Admin.

Posts: 1693
From: simwhere
Registered: Jun 2001

posted 13 February 2002 09:07     Click Here to See the Profile for MPHG   Click Here to Email MPHG        Reply w/Quote   Visit MPHG's Homepage!
nice pics

Now my true power
I wouldn't feel right with my self if i looked without giving back.

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Bring Back the Classic.
Bring Back the Knowledge.
Bringing back to D2

The Classic

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FeistyGirl
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 729
From: a padded cell somewhere
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 13 February 2002 09:50     Click Here to See the Profile for FeistyGirl   Click Here to Email FeistyGirl        Reply w/Quote   
IT'S JESUS!!

lol j/k Tim... nice pic... I like guys with long hair

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"I'm a miracle worker. If I work, it's a miracle."

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Zhoulomcrist
Forum Admin.

Posts: 3239
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 13 February 2002 12:55     Click Here to See the Profile for Zhoulomcrist        Reply w/Quote   
quote:
Originally posted by FeistyGirl:
IT'S JESUS!!

Hmmm. It seems that MPHG has done the impossible and proven that there is indeed a higher power above our own . The lord has cometh and the above pic is living proof I will now transfer these posts and merge them into the Religion topic in the Off-Topic forum . Just kidding.....

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I shall have nothing to do with thy prideful, arrogant, and foolish combat. Leave me and my land apart from thine field of battle and I shall not interfere in any way. But, bring thy stagnant war unto my land and thou wilt be hurled into the abyss.

*************************
Classic Diablo II: ZhoulomCrypt Project Administrator

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MPHG
Forum Admin.

Posts: 1693
From: simwhere
Registered: Jun 2001

posted 13 February 2002 15:32     Click Here to See the Profile for MPHG   Click Here to Email MPHG        Reply w/Quote   Visit MPHG's Homepage!
why does everyone think I look like Jesus?

really it's becoming a bad habit.

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Bring Back the Classic.
Bring Back the Knowledge.
Bringing back to D2

The Classic

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Zhoulomcrist
Forum Admin.

Posts: 3239
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 13 February 2002 15:34     Click Here to See the Profile for Zhoulomcrist        Reply w/Quote   
Long hair tends to have that (JESUS) effect on people, especially if they've got a beard to accompany the hair. Folks used to tell me that same stuff until I got most of mine cut off years ago .

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I shall have nothing to do with thy prideful, arrogant, and foolish combat. Leave me and my land apart from thine field of battle and I shall not interfere in any way. But, bring thy stagnant war unto my land and thou wilt be hurled into the abyss.

*************************
Classic Diablo II: ZhoulomCrypt Project Administrator

[This message has been edited by Zhoulomcrist (edited 13 February 2002).]

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Axalon
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 2243
From: New England, USA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted 13 February 2002 15:39     Click Here to See the Profile for Axalon   Click Here to Email Axalon        Reply w/Quote   
Jesus!! You are Jesus!! Cooool!! MPHG is the Son of God!! (I've always suspected a divine presence within you ) ... Now first I want to know ... the real deal between you and Mary Magdalene hehehe ...

Oh, and Feisty ... your an Elf!! Wow!! Today is a good day!

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"To dream a life, or to live a dream ... only through desire shall the sleeper awaken."

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jbouley
Forum Admin.

Posts: 4907
From: Portland, Maine, USA
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 13 February 2002 15:56     Click Here to See the Profile for jbouley   Click Here to Email jbouley        Reply w/Quote   Visit jbouley's Homepage!
With my reddish-brown hair, beard, and generally mild demeanor (except when I overturn moneychangers' tables at the temple )...I got Jesus comments all the time when I had long hair a few years back.

A receding hairline and slowly growing bald spot on top made me switch to a shorter, more Sting-like hair style...so I don't get that anymore. Thank God for that...I was starting to feel self-conscious. Last thing I'm willing to do is getting nailed to a cross for anyone else's sins.

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- JEFF
"A hero is no braver than anyone else. He is only brave five minutes longer."
For my latest mod (for LoD/expansion), download Version 1.1 of Sanctuary in Chaos

- Or for old stuff (for classic D2), visit my orignal mod site at www.planetdiablo.com/sanctuary

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MPHG
Forum Admin.

Posts: 1693
From: simwhere
Registered: Jun 2001

posted 13 February 2002 16:03     Click Here to See the Profile for MPHG   Click Here to Email MPHG        Reply w/Quote   Visit MPHG's Homepage!
getting nailed to a cross isn't that bad, c'mon many worse fates are out there.

here's a few I wouldn't be happy with

thrown into a 8 foot pit of leeched with those spikes pointed downard on the walls of he pit.

1000 paper cuts on every part of the body and thrown into a vat of salt water.

being in the dark chamber thats 2ft square 8 feet tall while a sound track of snakes is playing and air tubes are htting your feet.


these are a few of my favorite cruel ideas lol.

nah really me and a friend had a contest for worse fate these were my top 3

------------------
Bring Back the Classic.
Bring Back the Knowledge.
Bringing back to D2

The Classic

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Axalon
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 2243
From: New England, USA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted 13 February 2002 16:16     Click Here to See the Profile for Axalon   Click Here to Email Axalon        Reply w/Quote   
Quote from Jbouley:

"With my reddish-brown hair, beard, and generally mild demeanor (except when I overturn moneychangers' tables at the temple )

Now, Jeff ... you must control temper, flipping over tables like that, I'm shocked

I get the Jesus thing too whenever I visit mother and have a bit of beard, I already the long locks (it's the rock n' roll thing, I just can't let go!!! )

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"To dream a life, or to live a dream ... only through desire shall the sleeper awaken."

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Zhoulomcrist
Forum Admin.

Posts: 3239
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 13 February 2002 17:11     Click Here to See the Profile for Zhoulomcrist        Reply w/Quote   
quote:
Originally posted by MPHG:
getting nailed to a cross isn't that bad, c'mon many worse fates are out there.

here's a few I wouldn't be happy with


I know one thing, I'd sure as hell hate it when folks started stonin' the horse mess outta me with rock-hard projectiles. I'm in no business to do no dyin' for no sins. Lord knows that I've done alot of sinnin' in the past of my own and I can only imagine where things'd go with this earth if a sinner such as myself had died for everyone else's.

*Zhoulomcrist envisions his own death and projects the vision into a round shiny black orb on a pedestal being held in place by bone claws. After death by stoning on the cross, a vision of the 3 prime evils and the lesser evils, Azmodan, Belial, Duriel, and Andariel come into view. The world appears dead, rivers turned to blood, and skies darkened.....

But, indeed, it is agreed that there can be worse fates. .....

*This was very true and to magnify that truth, Zhoulomcrist happened upon an age old algebra qui............ ERROR: WRONG SCRIPT!!!! Zhoulomcrist chunks the faulty movie script on the floor followed by alot of stompin'!!

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I shall have nothing to do with thy prideful, arrogant, and foolish combat. Leave me and my land apart from thine field of battle and I shall not interfere in any way. But, bring thy stagnant war unto my land and thou wilt be hurled into the abyss.

*************************
Classic Diablo II: ZhoulomCrypt Project Administrator

[This message has been edited by Zhoulomcrist (edited 13 February 2002).]

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Axalon
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 2243
From: New England, USA
Registered: Dec 2001

posted 13 February 2002 18:14     Click Here to See the Profile for Axalon   Click Here to Email Axalon        Reply w/Quote   
Funny how things can progress ... from a dumb blonde joke ... to the most horrible fate imaginable ... an eternity of listening to a constant lightspeed stream of dumb blonde jokes kind of ties it all together, quite nicely

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"To dream a life, or to live a dream ... only through desire shall the sleeper awaken."

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Zhoulomcrist
Forum Admin.

Posts: 3239
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 13 February 2002 18:18     Click Here to See the Profile for Zhoulomcrist        Reply w/Quote   
This happens constantly here at the keep and has numerous times in the past . It is a fairly common deal here at the keep for a topic to shift a number of times before it finishes .

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I shall have nothing to do with thy prideful, arrogant, and foolish combat. Leave me and my land apart from thine field of battle and I shall not interfere in any way. But, bring thy stagnant war unto my land and thou wilt be hurled into the abyss.

*************************
Classic Diablo II: ZhoulomCrypt Project Administrator

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Jolly_Reaper
Honorary Warlord

Posts: 384
From: The Netherlands
Registered: Feb 2002

posted 14 February 2002 09:05     Click Here to See the Profile for Jolly_Reaper   Click Here to Email Jolly_Reaper        Reply w/Quote   

Ehm, isn't it safer to lock some of you guys away? The ideas some people have to torture someone... It...scares me...

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Computers are like airconditioners, they both stop working properly when you open windows...

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WaxMonkey
Squire

Posts: 46
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2002

posted 14 February 2002 15:00     Click Here to See the Profile for WaxMonkey   Click Here to Email WaxMonkey        Reply w/Quote   
Well to end it on the only blond joke I know, here goes.

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to alphabetize them.

Or the alternate punch line is...

Tell her to separate the W's from the M's...

Now is when I duck and cover...

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snarfoogle
Serf

Posts: 1
From:
Registered: Feb 2002

posted 16 February 2002 18:54     Click Here to See the Profile for snarfoogle   Click Here to Email snarfoogle        Reply w/Quote   
Oooh! I've got a blond joke!

True, blondes have more fun, but they also have more STDs!

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DigiBO
Moderator

Posts: 1413
From: Bulgaria,Varna
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 18 February 2002 13:46     Click Here to See the Profile for DigiBO   Click Here to Email DigiBO        Reply w/Quote   Visit DigiBO's Homepage!
There is another way to keep a blonde busy...

Just give here a small sheet of paper with "Look on the other side" written on both sides

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You can't learn to be kewl or leet.It comes from inside and it's in everyone.You just have to reach it,but not by looking at the others - look at yourself.Be kewl.Be leet.Be yourself.

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